How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
