dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize