those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Farmville is her only friend.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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