Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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