she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
