That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
