Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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