He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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