Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
