no, he came in my armpit
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize