Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize