I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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