I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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