What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize