It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
