We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bring me that man meat
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
