Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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