Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
