so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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