He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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