Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
