party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
