i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
