I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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