its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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