You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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