Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
