i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
