Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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