I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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