Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
