he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
