I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
