So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
