Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
