i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
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