ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
