STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
