the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
