We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
