normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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