nut hugger
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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