mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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