I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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