We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Shame - the story of my life.
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