Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
