Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
