That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Hippo gnu deer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
