So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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