I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize