She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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