Ambien. No doubt about it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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