it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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