yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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