Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
