Your dad touched me again.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
