it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
