If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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