My liver just broke up with me...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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