Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
