I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
