Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
